| Why You Should Never, Ever, Ever Get A <b>Tattoo</b> (but Having a Baby <b>...</b> Posted: 01 Apr 2014 04:33 PM PDT By theuglyvolvo, April 1, 2014 I'm not super pro-tattoo or anti-tattoo. I've debated getting one in the past but never that seriously. But my mother is vehemently anti-tattoo. Listed below are the reasons my mother has always given me for why I shouldn't get a tattoo. And I understand that she's from a different generation. And I love my mother very much. She's a really wonderful person and I'm not saying none of them is a legitimate reason, but I'm saying that after having a child, I find it really hard to take any of them seriously. And so in case you were headed out to the tattoo parlor as we speak, here are: Yes, a tattoo is forever. Totally forever! Except that a tattoo can, if needed, be erased with a laser. 
No comments on how there are some days when you want to temporarily erase your three-year-old with a laser.
* * * They absolutely will. You're a terrible mother! Why are you doing whatever you're doing? Why AREN'T you doing this thing you're NOT doing? People will judge you so harshly for every child-related decision, they won't even notice that you have the Chinese character for "Serenity" inked on your forearm. 
This is not the Chinese character for Serenity.
* * * It will! Like jobs where you need time off to take care of your kids when they get sick! Or jobs where they're only hiring guys because they feel like hiring women is a liability! 
* * * It totally will, right? Also what will sort of ruin it is carrying another human inside your body for the better part of a year and then pushing it out an opening ten centimeters wide and then attempting to breastfeed it. Followed by the stress of trying to raise it to adulthood. Let me know if doing all that ruins your body any more or less than the butterfly on the small of your back. 
Oh no, a drawing of a butterfly: My body is RUINED.
* * * It is SO expensive. There are tons of basic costs at the beginning but I can't even explain how much it's going to cost to put this tattoo through college.  Start saving now. * * * Luckily, having a kid can easily be summed up by the words "clean" and "safe." Also, "painless." 
* * * No, I hadn't. 
* * * You're right, I'm totally going to want to strangle it in fifteen years. 
* * * Judging from my Facebook newsfeed, yes, everyone does have one. Maybe part of why I wanted one was actually wanting one, and part of why I wanted one was peer pressure.  Everyone in the world has that barbed wire tattoo, right? Or depending on who's around, you could pretend it's a DNA double helix. * * * Sorry, I couldn't hear that last one. I was screaming the phrase, "DON'T EAT THOSE BUGS," while pulling pieces of sweet potato and banana out of my hair and coat pockets. 
Please help.
* * * If you enjoyed this piece, follow the blog by signing up in the sidebar. Or you can follow me on Facebook or Twitter. If you want to read other blogs of mine, here is one I wrote on What I Do All Day When I Am Home With The Baby. If you're my mom and the whole time while reading this you kept thinking, "Yes, sweetie, but it's DIFFERENT," don't worry, I am aware that getting a tattoo and having a baby are different. Also, let me know if you and dad can babysit the "tattoo" sometime soon. Also, I love you! If you like to buy or read books, I have an essay in this one that just came out a week or so ago. I Just Want to Be Alone. I feel like it was a pretty good essay. 
Like this: Like Loading... Related An Open Letter to My Dog After the Birth of my First Child  rcass April 4, 2014 Reblogged this on rosesontheotherside.  Kristina April 4, 2014 I get your points and find your writing to be very funny! Thanks for sharing your creativity!
I am amazed at the comments taking it all so seriously. I need a good laugh most days.  Colin Powell School April 4, 2014 Reblogged this on Neighborhoods and Nations.  Kristyle April 4, 2014 I loved this! I've been reading the comments, some are really funny and some are just rude. As a heavily modified person myself, with tattoos and piercings. I work for an extremely large reputable company. I don't have to cover up, take out my piercings or even have standard coloured hair. I'm not discriminated because of the choices I've made and what anyone else says or thinks about my choices is no skin off my back. I've seen some comments about kids being the best thing in your life… It may be for you, but to some people it's the worst thing. Judging others on their own choice to procreate or modify their bodies is silly. There is a reason we are all different. Embrace yourself, don't let anyone bring you down or feel bad about your choices.  Vickie April 4, 2014 2 comments: To: theuglyvolvo: I do have 3 children and 2 step children and no tattoos. I have to say that I laughed the whole time I read your article. To: styleunboxed: I think you said some very significant things.
I think it is very important not to prejudge, others. Looking at the inside of a person or persons and getting to know and understand them is the key. Thanks for taking the time to explain more about tattoos. I knew they were more popular, than before, but not much more than that.  RedFeather FalconHawk April 4, 2014 I have a few words to those of you who dislike tattoos for whatever reason – to those who think it limits ability to find a job, or that they're ugly, or unattractive, or that they blah, blah, blah, blah… If you don't like tattoos, don't get one. But some of us DO like them, and some of us see them as body art. Some of us see our body as a canvas, and some of us love to express ourselves in this way. And, you know what? That is absolutely fine, because we are all different people, with different tastes. My tattoos are meaningful to me. One is a wedding ring – two of them are of birds of prey – I used to do volunteer work with a raptor rehab place, which I loved, and I hope to do it again someday, because that is my love and my passion. I'll never just lose interest in that. Also, my husband is a wonderful man, and I'm very lucky to have him in my life. He'll stay in my life so again… another meaningful tattoo. There are lots of jobs that don't mind tattoos nowadays, because tattoos are fairly mainstream now. It's not just thugs that have them – look around you – all kinds of people have them. My job doesn't mind my tattoos – they don't mind the fact that I have funky colors in my hair, either – because they know that I do a good job, and that's what matters to them. As long as you're not showing something lewd in plain daylight, I don't see what the problem is. And for those jobs which are picky about tattoos – there are tattoo concealers apparently, though I've never tried one before. There are also long-sleeved shirts and pants. Not everyone's tattoos are obvious and in plain view of everyone. Also, in regards to people not liking a tattoo they got in the past, sometimes you can get those covered up with another, more meaningful tattoo, rather than getting it covered up. There are solutions. Even then, why does that matter to you what the next person does? If you don't like tattoos, then don't get one – it's as simple as that. Don't judge and try to govern the lives of the people around you. It doesn't matter to them whether you think their decision was bad or not – it's their life, and it's their business – not yours.  Ingrid Kathleen Geist April 4, 2014 wow, i think so many people that have posted here missed the point COMPLETELY. LOL. too funny to read posts from people that READ and understand the meaning. It's pretty simple. Urging someone to not get tatted is outdate and doesn't make sense when all of the arguements can be applied to having children also. I have tats and kids, and I have heard these to describe deter me from BOTH choices. My first tat was at 18, my last one was at 29. NOT ONE OF THEM, is a fave band, animal, saying, exes name. All can be concealed, my KID though, cannot. And I get judged more because of parenting, good or bad, than my tats, which get little to no commentary, other than, nice ink. Open your minds folks, from both sides.  sonjajohanson10 April 4, 2014 Reblogged this on cloudberrytattoo and commented:
This has nothing to do with poetry – but oh my god, so funny. And so true. I have both tattoos and children, and, well…  Pillow April 4, 2014 Never met a tattoo I liked. Seriously, I hate tattoos. It also seems that most people I know who have one regret it. Whatever it was, for some reason, it doesn't represent them anymore. It's like wearing the same shoes, shirts, and jeans you were wearing 15 years ago. Things go out of style and just become dated. Different strokes for different folks.
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| <b>Tattoo</b> You: Against Me! Discuss the Meaning Behind Their Ink <b>...</b> Posted: 03 Feb 2014 12:15 PM PST By Scott Sterling "We have a lot of matching tattoos," begins Against Me! singer Laura Jane Grace while removing her shoes to reveal her newest ink to the Radio.com cameras. For the latest episode of Radio.com Essentials, Grace, along with guitarist James Bowman, put some context behind some of their more interesting and often personal tattoos. For over a decade the Florida punk rock band has been collecting tattoos from various artists as they've toured the country and have finally reached the point at which blank canvas is hard to find. Interview: Laura Jane Grace Face the World with 'Transgender Dysphoria Blues' "James actually gave me my first tattoo," explained Grace. The "stick and poke" tattoo, which has since been covered up, featured the logo of English punk band Crass, popular in the late 70′s. Bowman admits he may have been drinking during the process. He tattooed the image backwards. Without dwelling on the cover-ups, Grace jumped right into revealing her brand new ink, which she points out are by far the most painful tattoos she's ever received. Covered in an intricate design, each of her feet took more than ten hours to complete. Japanese artist Kenji Alucky, who created the art, is famous among the tattoo community for his incredibly detailed pointillism. Related: Against Me! Laugh About the First Time They Heard Themselves on The Radio Speaking of the sheer pain of being tattooed on her heel and Achilles tendon, Grace recalled, "I was on a yoga table, just like gripping it… every muscle in my body tensed, trying not to freak out. I thought I was going to pass out at various points." As it turns out, the string of random numbers on the inside of her wrist weren't random at all as Grace explained. At the time, her theory was if her guitar was to ever be stolen she would simply roll up her cuffs to reveal the instrument's series number. The thief would have no choice but to concede it was hers. Growing up touring and spending months on end together, Grace and Bowman share some interesting tattoos. Case and point, a pair of brightly colored flying snakes. Why flying snakes? "It's a flying snake!" exclaims Bowman. "It's pretty bad-ass." |
| Listen: Andrew Jackson Jihad's new song “Kokopelli Face <b>Tattoo</b> <b>...</b> Posted: 03 Apr 2014 08:00 AM PDT Andrew Jackson Jihad are prepping their fifth studio album, Christmas Island, for a May 6th release via SideOneDummy Records. Produced by John Congelton (St. Vincent, Angel Olsen, Modest Mouse) and recorded at Elmwood Studios in Dallas, TX, a press release states that the 12-track full-length is full of songs that "blur the line between the ludicrous and the earnest." Though the band has already shared "Children of God", today they return with "Kokopelli Face Tattoo", the second taste of the upcoming LP. It's a searing track, one of the fuzzier offerings of their oeuvre, but it still contains all the elements of a great Andrew Jackson Jihad song. For instance, like its predecessor, the song finds frontman Sean Bonnette delivering some witty lines like, "Hating you won't make you suck any less." Solid advice from the Phoenix-based folk-punks. Listen in below. Pre-orders for Christmas Island are ongoing over at the band's website and iTunes page. Options include a special edition Andrew Jackson Jihad Snuggie. Remember those? Christmas Island Tracklist:
01. Temple Grandin
02. Children of God
03. Do, Re, and Me
04. Coffin Dance
05. Getting Naked, Playing with Guns
06. I Wanna Rock Out in My Dreams
07. Kokopelli Face Tattoo
08. Best Friend
09. Linda Ronstadt
10. Deathlessness
11. Temple Grandin Too
12. Angel of Death Previous Story How To Dress Well announces new album, What Is This Heart?, stream "Repeat Pleasure" Next Story Stagnant Pools announce new album, Geist, stream "Intentions" |
| Teen with McDonald's receipt <b>tattoo</b> gets another receipt <b>...</b> - WGN-TV Posted: 03 Apr 2014 06:17 AM PDT Tattoos always seem like a good idea at the time, but it's hard to apply that logic here. The teen from Norway who gained international attention for getting a McDonald's receipt tattooed on his arm, has some new ink. And, there's a theme.  Stian Ytterdahl got the receipt from the tattoo shop where he got the McDonald's tattoo, tattooed on his other arm.
The first one was a joke amongst friends. The teen didn't offer much of a reason for the second one, except to say it's all in fun. |
| New Army <b>tattoo</b> policy eliminates potential recruits, future officer <b>...</b> Posted: 02 Apr 2014 03:51 PM PDT Posted on: 6:51 pm, April 2, 2014, by Laurie Simmons, updated on: 05:48am, April 3, 2014 If you want to sign on the dotted line to serve Uncle Sam in the Army, it's going to get a lot harder to make the cut. By the end of April, new recruits will be held to the Army's new grooming standards–which include stricter rules on tattoos. "Tattoos are cool thing today, 70-80% of people who come into our office have tattoos. I've seen 15-year-olds with tattoos," said Sergeant First Class Robert Black with the Army Recruiting Command in Norfolk, who says these new policies will cut down on the number of enlisted they can take. If you have a sleeve tattoo–you are eliminated. If you have a tattoo on the face, neck, head, hands or fingers–forget about it. If you have ink below the elbow or below the knee, you are limited to 4 tattoos, none bigger than the size of your hand. "We have over 50 future soldiers in waiting, holding for basic training, and as of right now, 30% would not be able to qualify based on those standards," said SFC Black. The Army is allowing those new recruits already under contract, as well as current active duty soldiers, to be grandfathered in under the old rules—but if any of those enlisted soldiers want to try and get their commission to become an officer, they would be barred if their tattoos don't match the new policy. "A situation like that would definitely be disheartening to someone who wanted to be an officer and now the tattoo policy is going to stop them from being able to do it, but once again, they have to adapt to the situation to go forward," said SFC Black. According to the Sergeant Major of the Army, who came up with the new standards, it is all meant to keep up a more professional peacetime force. Related:
Black women troops say new grooming rule is racially biased |
| Turning The Makerbot Into A <b>Tattoo</b> Machine - Hack a Day Posted: 03 Apr 2014 01:00 PM PDT 
ENSCI les Ateliers, the famous design school in Paris, had a "Public Domain Remix" and hackathon recently, with teams splitting up to remix public domain and other free-to-use IP in projects. Most of the teams came up with similar ideas, but one team went above and beyond the call of duty; they turned a 3D printer into a tattoo machine, capable of inking a real, live human test subject. The build began by plotting a circle with a pen onto a piece of paper. This evolved into printing a tool holder for a tattoo machine graciously provided by an amateur tattoo artist. Tests with "artificial skin" (any one care to hazard a guess at what that is?) were promising, and the team moved on to a human guinea pig. The biggest problem the team faced is that humans aren't flat. They tried a few tricks to tighten the skin around the area to be tattooed – metal rings, elastics, and finally the inner tube from a scooter. In the end, the team was able to tattoo a small circle on the forearm of the test subject. It's an extremely simple and small tattoo, and scaling this build up to a sleeve would be difficult. A better solution would be to create a point cloud of an arm before going for a much larger tattoo. |
